Morning Sickness

Sick (February)' 60x70cm Ink & Acrylic on canvas

Sick: In case you were wondering, this is how it feels in the first trimester of pregnancy. I am inadvertently channelling a slight Brack influence here in my choice of colours for my nude and the obvious malaise or misery. I saw the Brack show last July in Melbourne...It is yet to arrive in WA, so starved are we of inspiration. Observing Brack's nudes I couldn't help but feel he was of a feminist inclination (he and the world just didn't know - it until now - I have enlightened everyone, be thankful) in his treatment of the female form.

 I felt so strongly standing in front of his works in the show at the Potter that he connected with an almost resgined type of melancholy in his subjects as objects of the gaze. Nobody looked delighted (but did anyone in any of his works?) to be portrayed in this way as was typical of the seductress or confrontational stare common to many female nudes. This, coupled with the fact that his nudes were not popular at the time but an expensive side-indulgence he afforded himself when he could, led me to believe there was more content in these than was given due consideration.

I digress. My nude self-portrait shows a vomit-style palette. I had intended to keep painting to finish this work but once I got to this stage I realised I had accomplished my intention of depicting my moment of joy in discovering I was pregnant and feeling like crap. True to my animal instincts I am baring my rear end (obviously to entice my viewer) and revealing the source of my misery. Juxtaposed with my foetal position (vulnerability, innocence etc) the image creates a nice tension beyond the ick of the palette that travels beyond sexy-nude-as-object to confront the viewer with a more realistic impression minus the romance. Some women suffer like this for the whole 40 weeks, poor things.

Raw (January)' 60x70cm Charcoal & Acrylic on canvas

Raw: This was my first self portrait upon discovery of the double line on the stick. As you can see, I wasn't having a very good day. Actually I am quite happy to be pregnant and do the baby thing all over again, the real trauma is the work-life-family balance. I have fought so long and so hard for so long (yes, many 'sos' in that sentence, read between the lines) to scratch out a corner of sanity and selfishness amidst the mother guilt and feminist angst, quite frankly I am quite concerned as to how I can manage to do/be/have what I need to hold onto my hat post birth. This portrait, while not a favourite of mine as it is rather wobbly, depicts the knife edge intensity and excitement/terror of blessed maternity in a very raw and honest way.

Raw (January) Pattern pieces Charcoal & Acrylic on canvas

I couldn't wait to cut this one up. It was my first foray into this series - an instant sketch done in an hour or two to capture a mood, a moment in time. I allowed myself certain liberties I don't usually allow in painting/drawing, and that is a free, unedited hand. I usually like to have a lot more structure and control over my initial sketching and spend time preparing etc. I liberated myself from any expectation of perfection (impossible anyway) knowing that it would be cut up. Ironically I have the photographic evidence here. This work is now a handbag with red velvet lining. Sick is also a handbag with pink satin lining.

Apologies I do not have an image yet, however my previous work Nude shows the dimensions of the pattern nicely: