Fabric Surgery

 Raw (Handbag) Charcoal & acrylic on canvas with velvet lining 40x50x50 (dimensions approx)

I can recommend this treatment for anyone feelingly slightly miffed about their perceived appearance. A quick cut up, stitch up and re-arrange can be very satisfying for all intents and purposes. Plus this ever-useful vessel can now carry material things from the physical realm. See, previously the vessel of the self embodied all manner of strange delusions and abstractions, still a vessel, yes, however a container for all things ephemeral and slippery, enigmatic and elusive. Now she can actually hold things we can see with our eyes, touch with our hands (or other body parts perhaps?..whatever gets your goat) and smell should we be so inclined to do so (not always recommended given the aforementioned possible touching of body parts though). We can now trust what she represents - an ever useful holdall carryall represented in her most valued proportion. She is now silenced into usefulness. At least that is the general idea. Astute observers may notice an opening near the nipple region of the handbag - as yet an unresoved issue for me, one I hope to resolve as I continue. Many options for nipple surgery - but I need to be clear as to what my intention for this is.

 Sick (Pattern Markings) 60x70cm Ink & Acrylic on Canvas     

Sick (Handbag) 40x50x50 (dimensions approx)

Acrylic & Ink on Canvas with Satin Lining and Leather Handles

Again, another makeover - complete with before and after shots. And what a dramatic improvement. Here we have the parts segmented in a much more convenient manner. For example, while sporting the bag - a-la-casual - one may elect to have the gash/slash facing forward (for those days when one does feel emboldened) or gash/slash facing backwards (when we'd prefer to think that life was about more than just our sex). You may have also noticed that the gash/slash is slighly blurred - a modest soft focus 'side-effect' from the surgical manufacturing process. Read: when I sewed the canvas, it rubbed a bit (read what you will into that) and blurred the charcoal leaving the image with a nice sense of renewed modesty not unlike porn images before digital cameras, mass prinitng and enhancement...back in the days when women could let it all hang out - literally.  When labiaplasty was floating free in outerspace with all the other useless spacejunk awaiting it's moment of glory and when bush meant old growth forests and the like (now as endangered as the full map of Tassie).

I have had some technical dilemmas resolving my handbag transformations however. The weight of the paint burdened canvas has created difficulty in it's starchiness and manoeuvreability. While I like the strength and form it gives the bag it is difficult to handle and does not lend itself to a softening effect akin to the flesh that I have been able to replicate with other fabrics. Still, I have discovered the wonders of steam-ironing through teatowel with a later version (will post next).

Notes on the details: The satin lining is gathered slightly and pinched then sewn into the angles of the breasts. The bag is stuffed with polyfil and this combination lends itsel;f to a nice boudoir sensation, all pink and creamy flesh-like. To feel it is cool, smooth, soft and spongy. Unsure as to whether it will bear contents (a stray doll's arm or some such thing) but leaning to the side of none. Nipples were resurrected from a previous bag incarnation and match the handle nicely. I think that's what they mean when the say to 'accessorise'.

All these bags will eventually form a totem pole - pole dancing handbags depicting the power of transformation.

Morning Sickness

Sick (February)' 60x70cm Ink & Acrylic on canvas

Sick: In case you were wondering, this is how it feels in the first trimester of pregnancy. I am inadvertently channelling a slight Brack influence here in my choice of colours for my nude and the obvious malaise or misery. I saw the Brack show last July in Melbourne...It is yet to arrive in WA, so starved are we of inspiration. Observing Brack's nudes I couldn't help but feel he was of a feminist inclination (he and the world just didn't know - it until now - I have enlightened everyone, be thankful) in his treatment of the female form.

 I felt so strongly standing in front of his works in the show at the Potter that he connected with an almost resgined type of melancholy in his subjects as objects of the gaze. Nobody looked delighted (but did anyone in any of his works?) to be portrayed in this way as was typical of the seductress or confrontational stare common to many female nudes. This, coupled with the fact that his nudes were not popular at the time but an expensive side-indulgence he afforded himself when he could, led me to believe there was more content in these than was given due consideration.

I digress. My nude self-portrait shows a vomit-style palette. I had intended to keep painting to finish this work but once I got to this stage I realised I had accomplished my intention of depicting my moment of joy in discovering I was pregnant and feeling like crap. True to my animal instincts I am baring my rear end (obviously to entice my viewer) and revealing the source of my misery. Juxtaposed with my foetal position (vulnerability, innocence etc) the image creates a nice tension beyond the ick of the palette that travels beyond sexy-nude-as-object to confront the viewer with a more realistic impression minus the romance. Some women suffer like this for the whole 40 weeks, poor things.

Raw (January)' 60x70cm Charcoal & Acrylic on canvas

Raw: This was my first self portrait upon discovery of the double line on the stick. As you can see, I wasn't having a very good day. Actually I am quite happy to be pregnant and do the baby thing all over again, the real trauma is the work-life-family balance. I have fought so long and so hard for so long (yes, many 'sos' in that sentence, read between the lines) to scratch out a corner of sanity and selfishness amidst the mother guilt and feminist angst, quite frankly I am quite concerned as to how I can manage to do/be/have what I need to hold onto my hat post birth. This portrait, while not a favourite of mine as it is rather wobbly, depicts the knife edge intensity and excitement/terror of blessed maternity in a very raw and honest way.

Raw (January) Pattern pieces Charcoal & Acrylic on canvas

I couldn't wait to cut this one up. It was my first foray into this series - an instant sketch done in an hour or two to capture a mood, a moment in time. I allowed myself certain liberties I don't usually allow in painting/drawing, and that is a free, unedited hand. I usually like to have a lot more structure and control over my initial sketching and spend time preparing etc. I liberated myself from any expectation of perfection (impossible anyway) knowing that it would be cut up. Ironically I have the photographic evidence here. This work is now a handbag with red velvet lining. Sick is also a handbag with pink satin lining.

Apologies I do not have an image yet, however my previous work Nude shows the dimensions of the pattern nicely: